5. What it has come to

Today brought both good news and bad news.

Good news, my questioning the guards at Heiron brought some of them to locate a spirit bearing the resemblance of Rao. A young man bearing a staff with brightly colored hair in comparison to the other spirits. Even has a frozen grin upon his features whenever patrols got close enough to get a look before he vanished into the shadows of the area. I received the report in a letter today, though the timing couldn't have been worse being around several of my legion mates. But, after all this time I didn't really care, I had found another.

Rao always had a grin on his face, even when I drove him into the dirt in training, he'd look up and grin at me like some kid simply playing a game. Smallest in the group, he would always stand out with his bright red hair, even prided himself on it. Changing it daily into some other bizarre form of style to both amuse the others and to annoy me. He was master with a stave and possessed a sharp tongue to boot, he would make it a game of both having a conversation with his opponent...right before flicking his weapon into his opponents face or stomach or whatever other body part proved most open. All the while grinning...

He has been sighted multiple times, at multiple locations. Worst of it, is that Heiron has proved a challenge to me to navigate in search of him. The Storm circle for one has been home to many Asmodian raiding parties practically each time I venture near. Areas past the patrols are covered with many undead warriors and various other aether-based spirits. Things I don't have the strength to take on yet...curse this body of mine.

I had to ask for help. I went to Nanase. I knew her to venture into the deep parts of the Heiron dead lands without much effort. I told her about it, even showed her the old class portrait from the day they graduated so she could get a look at Rao. And, she agreed to keep an eye out for him. She'd inform me if she spotted him so I could go out and finally bring him rest. I should have been relieved by this...however.

I never felt so pathetic in all my life. I felt 'weak' asking someone so young. I felt 'old' asking someone so young. Despite my strength and size and bluster. This young woman was stronger then me.

This is something I have to change.